I stood on the side of the stage, 20 feet from John Foreman, lead singer of the band “Switchfoot.” They were playing one number after another in front of 50,000 screaming fans who had their hands raised high in the air. Through a myriad of bouncing around the stage, climbing 30 feet into the air on the metal poles which held the stage lights, and jumping off the drum set, it was clear that these guys were here to give the fans a good show. And they did. As they belted out and strummed one song after another, I stood stage left, camera in hand, reflecting on my life. They sung the words that I have heard a million times, yet I was still unable to escape the question that hung in that crisp Pennsylvania air…
“This is your life, are you who you want to be….”
I thought of the dreams I had growing up as a little girl. Dreams of “making it” in this world. Dreams of being a woman who is respected by many. Dreams of doing something with my life that would affect the masses. Dream of making a difference. Dreams of a life live intentionally and purposefully.
This is my life, am I who I want[ed] to be?
For as long as I can remember, I have had this sort of ironic dichotomy that took place inside my mind. I have always strived for more, wanting to reach the next level. While many would say that I have done a lot for someone my age, I was never satisfied. I always wanted more. I wanted to grow. I wanted to learn. I wanted to develop. I wanted to be better. Do better.
This is my life, am I who I want to be?
Those words echoed through the air, falling onto a large crowed in an open field that was situated between the hills of Pennsylvania. As I thought about them, I smiled. I may not be where I want to be quite yet, but I have come a long way. I may not be the perfect person I would love to be, but I have learned through trials and mistakes. I may not be excellent at the things I am trying to accomplish, but I am gaining invaluable experience. And while I may not be “there” yet, one thing is certain…
This is my life, and it is more than I ever could have dreamed or imagined it to be. When all is said and done, no matter how self critical I can be, this is my life and yes, I am who I want to be. I couldn’t imagine my life being any better than it is right now. I have been fortunate enough to know love. I have been blessed with a roof over my head and food on my table. I have traveled the world. I have met a lot of incredible people. I have seen. I have felt. I have heard. I have touched. I can say with a clear conscience that up until now, I have made the most of my life and I intend of spending the rest of my life doing the same thing.
So now I ask you – This is your life, are you who you want to be?