There was always one of them. You know, the kid on the team who just HAD to win. The one who would fight through blood sweat and tears just to make a goal. The one who played like their life depending on it. The one who didn’t care how many other kids got hurt, offended, or felt like they were the weakest link on the team. And if they felt that, they probably were the weakest link on the team which, of course would drive said crazy-competitive kid insane. That was me. Not the weakest link kid. The crazy-competitive kid. I have always been “all in.” I apologize in advance to those of you reading this who used to be the weakest link kid, and who by reading this just had a myriad of emotions get stirred up in you. But bear with me here, because there is a point to all of this….
For as long as I can remember I was a “do or die” person. Aggressive. Competitive. Bold. Daring. Second place was never an option. Everything I did turned into a competition. For a large portion of my life, I always viewed those traits as desirable and…*sigh* here goes my pride….”better” than the character traits on the opposing side. However, as I got older I began realizing that those very traits I valued were the exact traits interfering with a lot of my personal relationships.
Although my natural personality traits are a blessing in many ways, I have had to learn to control them as the years have gone by. If you played a game with me right now, you would have a 50% chance of getting the aforementioned Alicia, and a 50% chance at getting the “chill out and enjoy life” Alicia. I have learned to channel my “all in” tendencies to things that will help me go further in life – starting a business, going to the gym, nurturing my relationships, etc. And I have learned to drop those tendencies with things that don’t really matter – Is the world really going to stop revolving if I am not the first one to reach the top of the mountain when hiking with friends? The answer is no, it won’t. Even though I may subconsciously trick myself into believe that it will.
Wow. When I started writing this post I had no intentions of it getting this deep.
So here it is – gotta lighten things up here. This “all in” thing really trickles into all areas of my life in some way or another. Including ice cream. What’s that you say? You didn’t catch that transition? I’ll say it again. Including ice cream. Yes, ice cream. I am an addict of sorts. Chocolate, Pistachio, Butter Pecan, Cashew Caramel….my mouth is already watering. However, being of the “all in” type does not mix well with ice cream. Especially when you are the all-in-at-the-gym type. They cancel each other out. Herein lies my dilemma. And a major dilemma it is, my friends. When I get a container of ice cream, I do what any grown female in her 20’s would do – I eat the whole thing…or at least most of it. Because I am all in, right?
Last week I was perusing through the ice cream section of the grocery store. You know, just…um….window shopping. And then it happened. The clouds (er…aluminum ceiling) parted and light shone down from the heavens. The discovery of a lifetime. Ranks up there with Mr. Christopher Columbus himself. PRE-SERVING-SIZED ICE CREAM! You might be all like “Pshht, I have known about those for ages.” Well, I ask you then, why have you been hiding that from me all this time?? I thought we were friends.
Alas, the cure to my conflicting character trait and addiction. I can be all in when I open up one of those ice creams because, well, they are already the perfect size.
And that, my friends, is really all I came on here to say today.
Life is good.