I should have known the day was headed in the wrong direction the moment I realized I had put my underwear on backwards. Yeah, you heard me right….backwards. Who does that? Apparently I do on days when I am running around like a chicken with it’s head cut off
Not more than an hour later, as I was rushing to get my dog to the vet so that she can get her papers signed to leave the country, it happened. Red and blue flashing lights in my rear view mirror. I think most of you will agree that there are few things in life as frustrating and mood altering as seeing those lights.
He walked up to my car window, face straight as a Jack of spades, and said those words we all hate hearing: “License and registration please.” I handed over those items and sunk as far down into my car seat as I could as my eyes brimmed with tears. This day was really off to a great start. All I wanted was to get on that plane and get away. I desperately needed a break. As much as I love my job, I needed a break from it.
You see , I am the type of person that throws myself all in. All in to my job. All in to my relationships. All in to the life that I love. But sometimes you need a break from being all in even when you love what you do. And that break has been knocking on my door for weeks. The cool breeze blew through my car window as I silently prayed he would give me a warning instead of a ticket.
When he walked back over he started reciting his obligatory statements “Mam I have issued you a ticket and if for whatever reason you feel as though this was erroneously given to you and you desire to plead not guilty….”. Much to his surprise, I cut him off. “Don’t worry, Sir, I know I am guilty and I apologize. I know that I need to be careful going down this street because there are a lot of children on it. I know all these things and I was still speeding, and for that I apologize. Thank you for doing your job and serving this city and state.” Yes, I really did say that to a cop who just issued me a ticket for $127. His jaw hung open as he muttered “wow, I have never heard anyone respond like that. Usually there are a ton of excuses. But you just apologized and thanked me for giving you a ticket.”
I guess as I sat there while he was running my plates I realized that half the battle is in admittance. In admitting something is wrong. Admitting the balance is a bit off. Admitting that something needs to change. Kinda like and AA meeting – though I have never attended one. Admitting is the first step. And for me, I had to admit that I had become so overwhelmed with all the different balls I have been juggling that I let the important things slip through the cracks.
So here I am, on the plane, reflecting on the events of today that led up to my departure. And I have realized that admitting I need a break is half the battle. So in a few hours I will be greeted by close friends at the airport. We will go downtown for coffee, ride bikes around Copenhagen, and walk the streets of this city that shaped so much of who I am. I will leave my computer home and I will turn my phone off. And for these next two weeks, I will enjoy the break that I need and deserve and soak in a much quality time with people I love as I can. Because even though work is fun, it can be tiring. I need a break so I can be better at what I love doing. So that my tank is not always empty. So that I show up to shoots with energy, creativity, and excitement. So that I can give back to my clients and treat them the way they deserve to be treated.
Hi, my name is Alicia, and I need a break.