A Valentines Day note

I posted this last year on Valentine’s Day and received a lot of feedback (mostly from the female population!) about how it encouraging it was, so I decided that it needed to be posted again today!

Dear Alicia of yesteryear,

I know what you’re thinking. It’s Valentine’s Day and, yet again, you haven’t met Mr. right. In fact, you are 24 years old and still have never been on a proper date or had an actual boyfriend. You are too busy and too proud to feel sorry for yourself, which is good, but you still silently wonder. You are planning a big, girly, fancy Valentine’s Day dinner for all of your female friends because you want to inspire them and help them hold on to hope. You want them to realize they are beautiful and worth the wait, yet still, you silently wonder. You wonder if it’s true. You wonder if you can live by the words you preach. You wonder if you will be left behind. You wonder if you will ever meet the man you have been dreaming about. You wonder if falling in love and being married is all that it is hyped up to be. You wonder if you are just meant to be single for the rest of your life. After all, you do love being single, right? You get to travel – 11 countries this year alone – and you get to live the adventure you always wanted. You get to have dinner parties and games nights whenever you want. You get to go shopping with your girlfriends and splurge on those killer shoes, without having to consult a Mr. You get to do all these things that make your life wonderful yet still….you wonder.

Honey, let’s me tell you, it’s worth the wait.

As you put the finishing touches on dinner and set the wine glasses out, you wonder. You wonder if, when you do find this man of yours dreams, he will even want you. You wonder if you are pretty enough, smart enough, talented enough. I mean your friends tell you that you are all these things but….they are probably biased, right? And every guy has different tastes. I mean, what if you are too short or too curvy or too loud or too…much? You doubt yourself and your ability to hold out for a guy that you know is right for you because the pool is thinning. You wonder what he will think of your crazy family when he meets them, or if he will hate what we serve on Christmas Eve. You wonder if you will be able to challenge him and bring out the best in him. You wonder if your past mistakes will be too much for him to handle. And you wonder if you are good enough.

Honey, let me tell you, you are worth the wait.

It is 5:45 and your friends start piling in, all dressed in their cutest little black dress, with smiles on their faces because this night has given them hope. As you light the candles on the table, you continue to silently wonder. You wonder if you are too picky, as you have been told many times before. You wonder if this guy you are dreaming of really exists. You wonder if he will have some skeletons in his closest that you can’t deal with. You wonder if he will disappoint you. I mean….he is only human and you can’t expect perfection….but the disappointment we are talking about, well it’s the kind that leaves a scar. You wonder if he will lead you. You wonder if he will be willing to stand up to you because you and I both know that you have a stubborn side. You wonder if he will be tall, dark and handsome or if you will settle for someone who isn’t quite as attractive but is a nice guy. Character is more important than looks, that you know, but you still dream about a guy who you find irresistible. You wonder if he is out there. You have met soooo many great guys and have even been pursued by some of them…but none of them were “him.” And you know that when you see him, you will just know. But still, you wonder.

Honey, let me tell you, he is worth the wait.

Dinner is over as you and your friends sip the last drops of wine in your glasses. You talk about having hope and holding on. You pray together, cry together and laugh together. All of you dreaming of the same thing – to find a love that is worth the wait. I wish I could show you a glimpse of your future. I wish I could give you a picture of what tonight, Valentine’s Day 2011 looks like. I wish you could know what it is like to look into the eyes of a man whose love you don’t doubt. I wish you could feel the safety and security of him arms wrapping around you. And his looks? Girl, you just wait…I would show you a picture of what he looks like, but he hates getting his picture taken. The picture would be of him rolling his eyes and doing this thing with his mouth that makes him look like and idiot. We are working on that one, though. Maybe next Valentine’s Day I’ll have a picture for you. Until then, you will just have to take my word for it – even on your lowest of days, when you feel like there isn’t a hope in the world for you to meet the man of your dreams…just hold on. Hold on with that last ounce of strength you have because when you meet him, you will know. And, honey, he is so much more than you ever dreamed of! He is intelligent and handsome, funny and quirky. He may not come riding in a white horse with flowers and chocolate – honestly, he almost never does that – but somehow, you find it just as romantic when he sits and talks about marketing with you for hours. The adorable part doesn’t come when he brings you teddy bears because, well you have yet to get a teddy bear, but it comes when you watch him take every flight of stairs two steps at a time. It’s hilarious, really. He challenges you to be a better you, even when he drives you crazy. He holds your hand as you walk through the mall even though PDA makes him want to crawl out of his skin. And he knows that there are only two things in life that could instantly fix a bad mood – a good kiss and a Reese’s pieces sundae from Friendly’s.

Honey, let me tell you, just keep waiting. And don’t waste your time wondering. Just trust the God you know won’t fail you.

Happy Valentines Day,

Alicia of 2011

  1. Dani

    February 14th, 2011 at 2:45 pm

    xoxo

  2. Gabrielle

    February 14th, 2011 at 2:50 pm

    Beautiful reminder. 🙂

  3. tina lee

    February 15th, 2011 at 12:36 am

    loved this 😉

  4. Mo

    February 16th, 2011 at 8:11 pm

    A page must have been ripped out of the diary in my head!

  5. Jem

    May 8th, 2012 at 2:44 am

    Thank you for this post, Alicia. Being a content single 20-something seems to be a bit of an oxymoron these days. Thanks for the reminder that God has our lives in His hands. 🙂

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