It’s the annual Christmas family portrait and it is crazy. It happens every year right around this time and yours truly (obviously) is the one who has to take the pictures. You know, since I am a photographer and all. Except that I also need to be in the picture. Obviously. For my mom, it should be simple – set the camera on self-timer and snap a photo. Except that it’s not even close to that simple. It starts with my mom coming up with some lame color scheme. I usually try to mix it up a bit by adding in a color or two. Or adding that we don’t all need to match. Then there is the issue of location. We have to stay close to home because my parents just don’t see the point in traveling all that far (see: more than 5 minutes) to *just* take a picture. I, on the other hand, insist that the backdrop be at least semi interesting. Each year I try to make it at least a bit interesting. Like the time I insisted that we load our couch into my dad’s truck and place it on a downtown side street, all pile on, and take the picture. To this day it remains one of my favorite family photos, even though we almost started World War 3 over it.
It always amazes me how people pay me money to take their pictures and trust me 100%, yet when it comes to family Christmas pictures, there is zero respect for my opinion. After all, doesn’t it make perfect sense that this huge group of Italians knows better than the one who does this for a living? Exactly. It would be like me telling my dad how to build a house when, really, I don’t have a clue where you should even start. And then it comes to the time when the picture is actually having to be taken. It is a show of sorts. It is Barnum and Bailey Circus meets the Sopranos meets the Brady Bunch. And it is all things insane.
But it’s my family. It’s the same circus show every year. It’s who we are. I love and hate it all the same, yet I wouldn’t change it for the world. And this year our circus dialogue went something like this:
Mom: C’mon we have to do this quickly, otherwise the turkey will be overcooked!
Me: Mom, you have to be patient, all I asked for was 30 minutes. We have a lot of people this year.
Katie: Can you make sure I don’t look fat?
Brian: You are 6 months pregnant, what do you expect?
Cydney: Just put Katie next to me and we will look the same!
Dad: You better not be pregnant too!
Bionca: I don’t want to sit next to Cydney.
Cydney: Well I don’t want to sit next to you either!
Bill: Hey, I think Deb should stand by the pole – then she can dance on it! (inside family joke)
Cydney: Brandon! Stop pulling my hair!!!
Brandon: Why, Tidney?
Me: Alright every PLEEEASE look at the camera! Dad that means you too!
Dad: What do you mean? I am.
Brian: This is lame.
Mom: Can you photoshop Bruce’s shoes? I couldn’t find his black dress ones so he has on white sneakers.
Me: Really, mom? As though I don’t have a million and two sessions that need to be out the door this week I now need to digitally change his shoes?
Mom: Bruce stand over there a bit more so your shoes are hidden.
Dad: Well then all of him is hidden.
Mom: Well I don’t know what to tell you but he cant have white shoes with grey pants.
Brian: Well then you shouldn’t have put white shoes on him.
Me: OK! EVERYONE….look here….smile…..Dad, smile for real…..Mom, look at the camera not at Brandon!
And that, my friends, is a Candelora Christmas family photo 2010 wrap.
My mom’s favorite of all the photos.
Does it get any cuter than this?
The New Candelora’s. Left to right – Brian, Cydney, Bruce, Mom, Dad, Bionca, Katie, Bill, Brandon, Me. Next year there will be at least one addition, maybe two. 🙂